Disclaimer: None of this is legal advice.
§ Laws of Insider Trading
Don't do it.
Don't do it by buying
short-dated out-of-the-money call options on merger targets.
or email about it.
Don't do it in your
Don't do it by planting
bombs at a company and shorting its stock.
Don't do it while employed at the
Securities and Exchange Commission.
“how to insider trade without getting caught” before doing it.
If you didn't insider trade, don't
forget and accidentally confess to insider trading.
If you are going to insider trade, do it in a company that is far away
from a Securities and Exchange Commission office. Like, physically.
If you are already under a federal
ethics investigation about your ownership or promotion of a stock, don't insider trade that
If you are planning to insider trade, probably don't keep a Google Doc spreadsheet of the Money Stuff
Laws of Insider Trading. That will definitely show up in the SEC's complaint against you. If
you're gonna insider trade, you have to keep track of these rules in your head, even at the risk of
forgetting a few now and then.
If you insider trade by buying short-dated out-of-the-money call options on a merger target, and the SEC
your profits, don't show up in a U.S. court to ask for them back.
Corollary: go ahead and show
up in court to ask for them back
as long as you've deleted all
the evidence first.
If you are going to insider trade, or commit securities fraud generally, don't talk
loudly about it on the Acela from Washington to New York.
Don't insider trade while drunk.
insider trade while drunk.
Don't insider trade if you are a police
§ Additional Information